Things Change, Things Stay the Same

Words... Somewhat escape me at this moment. They're jumbled... Confused. They run through my mind, dancing and flitting upon a page only I can see, wishing to be written down and given life. But I can't really seem to grasp them. I wish I could. There's things I want to say, people I want to say these things to, but they catch in my throat and on the tips of my fingers, asking why I can't let them go.

They're my words. They're my feelings. I feel somewhat... Hollow, right now. But hollow isn't really a good word. Empty isn't either, because neither is very true. A cluttered, somewhat shaggy mess would be a better term, really. Ridden hard, put away wet with still a ghost of a smile still on my face from the experience.

It's been an amazing summer. But it seems summer has gone. Winter is coming (haha GoT).

I understand that, with time, things do change. People change... Feelings change. Things confuse us, confound us, inspire us... Drain us. Change us. Sometimes, though, I really wish they didn't have to. Sometimes I wish I could be selfish for those few moments, dig my heels in and say "Not yet"... But that's not who I am. Sometimes, I really just wish I had control over it all. Over the ebb and the flow. Over the dips and the mountains.

Sometimes, I wish the world were my own storybook. One that I could change and edit. The problem is, with a wish like that, I know the outcome would be terrible. Life would be boring... The experiences would be limited by what I would want, what I would come up with. Instead of marching to it's own beat, the world would march to mine... And to be honest, that doesn't sound like a very fun life.

People and the world have a right to evolve, change, ebb and flow.

This post is getting harder and harder to really... Wrap my mind around right now. The words are breaking free every now and then, but then getting caught other times. It's hard to explain.

I won't break and I won't crumble. There would be no point to all that I've accomplished over the past several months if I just gave up and went back to where I started. Thinking that I'm "back to square one" would do the same thing.

I'll be fine. I suppose I just need to find where to go from here.

All I need to do is remember.

I've Got Nothin'

Well, it's been about a month since my last post. Thought I might give a little bit of an update to anyone that visits this thing (Hint: there aren't many of you). It's been a busy few weeks... What with school approaching as quickly as it is. On top of being busy, I've come down with a weird throat cold. It's not that terrible, but it's sapping of energy. That, and now everything smells and tastes the same. Blech.

So... What to talk about... What to update with. To be honest, I don't really know. I've been reading the Hunger Games series, and I'm on the last book. I personally like the series.

I've been playing... Video games? Working out? Good God, I feel boring right now. My mind is still in a bit if a haze from this cold and there's things I want to talk about but I can't really get my fingers to work in that direction. The connection between them (my brain to my fingers) is broken. Maybe that's why I can't write (see: excuses).


Guh, I go to type something and have to delete it because it's crap.

When I can get my head on straight, I'll update here. Until then, peace out.