The problem is, I'm finding it difficult to really talk about anything at the moment. It's not because I don't want to speak on any matters, it's that I don't have much to speak on right now. Life is going well at the moment.
I passed my classes for last quarter and I have my next semester (as my college is shifting to semesters) planned out. I got a new iPod the other day to replace the one that died on me years ago (lol) and my romantic life couldn't be better currently.
I suppose I could write a little something here. Recently, I've been asked by several people what I'm going to do with my life once I'm out of college. The answer is: I don't really know. I have never really thought or planned it out to the point where I knew exactly the route I would go post-college.
When asked as a child "What are you going to be when you grow up?" I normally answered, "I don't know." This is for the sheer fact that for most of my childhood (even up through the age of 18) I never really knew what I wanted to do. I have no real career goals in life.
Instead, I've really developed life goals. Things I want to do in my life, rather than the career I want to follow. If my career that I choose helps facilitate these things, all the better. Have there been things I've wanted to do in my life? Sure, and I guess you can sort of call those "Grow Up Dreams".
Number 1: Artistic Endeavors
I've always wanted to be an artist, or an accomplished writer. One of my life goals coincides with this dream. I want to write a book someday. Even if it's a book that no one will ever read or that no one even likes, I want to write this book for myself. The feeling of written words upon a page is such a calming reassurance to me, it's weird. The smell of paper, ink and graphite. The stress of trying to turn a movie in my head into language is something I love to do. Could I be a writer for some major company? Or a reporter, or a news article writer? Sure; there would be a shift in my schooling as I go back for an associates or bachelors in writing, but I think it would be worth the school, just to have that kind of knowledge in my world.
I love writing. I love the complex combination of words that can so easily evoke emotion. I feel writing can be a better conveyor of emotion, due to the reader having to really think sometimes at what the writer is saying. Instead of saying "I am sad", the sentence can be constructed into this spray that conveys the entire meaning of the emotion from beginning to end. "I am sad" can quickly turn into a several page expose. That, and I don't think I've ever been very good at conveying emotion very well through my artwork, other than photography.
This particular picture I took evokes such driving emotion from me. I took it at Gulf Shores, Alabama one early morning. It was a quick shot, a quick edit. I knew what I was wanting to do with the picture when I got down on this little lonely shells level and took the picture. It came out so much better than I could have imagined.
I won't call myself a photographer. I like to dabble in photography for my own musings and artistic flurry, but I've not ever taken any sort of photography class. I don't own any expensive photography equipment. I just have my little Sony point-and-shoot and two tripods. A big one and a teeny one, both given to me. Though, as I do dabble more in photography, I do want to get a DSLR of some kind with a decent quality macro lens. I love macro shots. Love them.
Speaking of photography... I want to take a few photography classes while I'm still in school. I think it might be too late for that now, but I think if I ever go back to school for something (which I'm sure I will), I want to take some classes.
Damn, I got off topic. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, life goals. Book writing lead me to artistic flurry.
Also, slight update: Cats are gross. Not going to lie, my cat Zelda (and yes, she came with that name from the rescue people who we got her from) left a half-eaten vole on the back porch for me to find. I understand that cats do this when they're proud of what they've done, but come on, don't do it every day.
Bleh, anyway, I don't even know where I was with this post anymore. I had a big plan to move outside with my lapdock and finish this post up... And then I found my cats gift and it sort of threw a wrench into that mental plan. Now I'm just upstairs, typing, as she wanders around under me, rubbing against my legs.
Life goals, right. Back to life goals.
Number 2: Humanitarian Dreams
I've always wanted to help people, in some way, in some form or fashion. I've always been the kind to sit there and listen to my friends problems and help them in any way I can. Even a random person who's had a bad day that you can sense needs to say something. That little help to someone during a day can make the difference between them getting through the day and crumbling.
One of those little life goals has to do with what I'm currently in the business of right now. Right now, I'm part of a company with my father that looks to revolutionize water and water purification. Water from any source, sort of thing. Dipping an intake into a pool of sewage and getting clean medical grade water out the other end kind of thing that's portable and inexpensive when compared to the systems that are out there today.
The ability to give someone hope that had none with clean fresh drinking water would be amazing. Huge swathes of the world are currently dieing due to a lack of clean drinking water. This has the ability to save those lives.
It's the little things we can do that make a difference for other people. I want to do those little things, and the big things.
I'm weird and have little to say on this particular subject. Oh well.
Number 3: Dreams of Rank
My father was in the Air Force for 27 years and my mother was for 8. After all of this time and the several base commander positions my father held before retiring in 1995 at the rank of Lt. Colonel, it made me envious of him. The experiences he's had in his life, the people he's met. The stories he has... They're amazing.
Ever since I was little, I wanted to maybe follow in my fathers footsteps. Climb the ladder of the Air Force and make it all the way to Colonel, maybe. I think it would be amazing.
I've always had some kind of dream in the back of my mind to shoot for the officer ranks of the military in some way. It's funny... Because I used to harp on the military all the time. How I didn't want to join the military... When secretly, I did. I'm weird like that.
I think that's why, when I was denied elistment, I was sort of silently crushed. I wanted to get into the military.... I wanted to start a life.
I guess it was never to be anyway. That life is over.
New life is now.
It's weird... Thinking about the past six months. I'm going to have to do a year in review around January of next year or late December of this year. It'll blow my mind.
Anyway, I think that's all I really have right now. Thanks for reading to my rantings and outbursts, if you've made it this far. I'll have more later, I promise.
